Home

Advertisement

I'll tattoo your name upon my skin, carve it out and never cry again. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Reasons for Insanity

[ Places I've been | The attention just encourages her... ]
[ Can't get enough of me | livejournal userinfo ]
[ When I was young | Heavy ]

Harry Potter Review up!!! [Jul. 15th, 2009|03:19 am]
http://whatithinkaboutyourfilm.blogspot.com/
LinkStab Here

I have a fan page on facebook now... ha! [Jul. 13th, 2009|05:05 pm]
Link4 Stab Here|Stab Here

wootness abounds [Jul. 13th, 2009|12:09 pm]
I just woke up, and I feel great. I have not felt this good in forever! Though it seems the people I keep closest around me don't want me around anymore, but that may just be me being me. I will not decide this until it is certain.

I dont know, now that I seem to have my head on strait again, those that I hurt because everything was Repo seem to not care about my efforts this week. Even after the big talk about it, and my vow to do better. I thought it was all taken care of now. Well, if I loose friends for getting things back on track oh well. It's not the first time people stop liking me because I think of myself first after only thinking of others [I seem to go in a vicious cycle]. And if taking some time off from being myself and getting back to normal and not focusing on others is so bad too, then I really did not need those friends either. I love them all to death, but if they turn their backs [ hope they are not, and I am just over reacting due to the little bit of stress left over]then I know how they truly viewed our friendship.

I love them all and hope for everything this is not true. They are just busy. YES. busy. I have decided.

Even with the sad subject I feel good today... WTF. I feel effing good.
LinkStab Here

buy me [Jul. 13th, 2009|12:25 am]
Etsy
Buy Handmade
rabidzombiebunny
LinkStab Here

If this counts as a real post... [Jul. 12th, 2009|09:03 pm]
A lot has been going on, but I won't bore you all with most of it. Things are going better than expected with Dustin. He gets along with my family better than any EX ever has. ESP. my dad. My dad does not bond with my boyfriends. He seems to really like Dustin. That makes me happy. Things also seem to be getting more and more serious between us two. It is not freaking me out like it usually does. I am happy just enjoying this ride. I think it really does help that we were friends before hand and REALLY did not want to hurt each other... it does help.

The REPO stuff. I was dealing with too much at once and i added extra stuff to the plate. Thus the plate started to tip over. I was a wreak. Go figure. Dustin was tired of seeing me like that so he forced me to take a sabbatical from my life. Truth is, that was the best idea in the world. I feel better than I was and cant wait for the new semester of school next month. It was really sad. I was on the verge of tears constantly. I was actually doing a great job at time management, but there was just so much going on it did not seem like it was working. lol. I eventually handed everything over to Greg. He can deal with it. I can trust him with it. He will make this work, and it will work well. I am glad to have him as a friend. [ Thank you a million times Greg!!!!!!] I am also finishing up the costumes I started, though I think two will be only half done.

I have been working on myself and what I plan in my life. What I really want out of it you know? So far no definite answers, but I know Art is involved like it always is. In the past I thought, why bother tying yourself down to one thing, when you could do a million things. Truth is, doing a million things at once does not help. It only helps you procrastinate. That's what it does. So I am busy figuring out what my one [starter] thing in life is. The one thing that makes me have that springboard into something else.

Last night Dustin and I went over to Katie's [chick I became friends with in Drawing 1 last semester - she lives right by me]. We had a fun time just hanging out. It reminded me of old old Los Bastrdos cast parties. We had a few beers [in which i discovered I can now drink Guinness with no problem - granted last time I didn't like beer at 13], and smoked Katie's hookah. I think we smoked like five flavors that night. it was fun.

It just that I have been feeling more and more like myself. ANOTHER good thing is I was booked for a paid modeling and makeup artist gig or a photo shoot. I was shocked. good times.

All in all, progress is slow, but I am learning to be patient.
LinkStab Here

I swear [Jul. 11th, 2009|10:36 pm]
One day I will post a real blog...
LinkStab Here

REPO! Shadowcast meeting TONIGHT [Jun. 25th, 2009|05:28 pm]

Okay, if your coming to the meeting, COOL.  AGAIN, here is the directions to the meeting.

http://www.mapquest.com/maps?city=Lake+Worth&state=TX&address=5920+Quebec+St

Bring something to write on and with.  This is not a social gathering [ okay, after all the business is done it is], I will not allow any shenanigans [heh] during the meeting, once we are done talking technical, then it is okay.  I am only wanting people who are serious about this.  A lot of major decisions will be covered.  I appreciate EACH and EVERY one of you.

Lets take DFW by storm!

5920 Quebec Street
FORT WORTH, TX 76135-3605
Phone: 817-237 2894
Fax: 817-237 2896

Link2 Stab Here|Stab Here

I wrote a song for the Iran situation. Sad thing is there is even a melody... [Jun. 23rd, 2009|01:38 pm]
Steal this and I eat your face!


God Forbid [By Raechel A. Gasparac]



Voices are crying
politicians are lying
Oh what a trap this could be
a change made by little me
the people are trying
the people can see
the innocents dying in the streets.

God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid

We must take action!
Buy into this distraction!
Neda is Bloody and fallen!
The people have spoken when-
we watch these comming attractions
As the innocence of the world has been stolen
Truth is that violence never defeats.

God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid

One day these people
will should out in victory
your small little steeple
will crumble with each decree
Your buildings will topple
will know you are contradictory
to each and every god and nation
of what you claim to be
The truth is the truth
will set you free
and

God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid

LinkStab Here

huh [Jun. 22nd, 2009|01:32 am]

Now realizes not everyone can act like an adult.  stabby stabby.  URGH.  I tried my best.

Link1 Tear|Stab Here

Other DFW REPO! Shadowcast [Jun. 22nd, 2009|12:46 am]
Ok, I have been trying to be professional and civil. I extended SEVERAL olive branches to the "Infected" cast who is not evolved to my casts position yet, after them working on this for three months.... and I am tired of it. I kept on giving my email for the director to contact me. I want this to be a civil situation. I want to be sister casts. I don't want to steal their people, yet they only complain that "disposable.com" is not an email domain. Okay, I know it is because it is mine, and is is hosted by mail.com. Instead of trying to email and ask if it is a real email, they just assume and refuse to contact me.

I can play this game in the same manner as they are, but I refuse to. I will maintain my professional attitude no matter how rude they are being. I will accept their friendship even if it means I have to have a theater first.

I just wish people could act with a little bit of tact and decorum. :(
Link1 Tear|Stab Here

For Shannon [Jun. 19th, 2009|02:21 pm]
1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
Link1 Tear|Stab Here

Seeling my artwork [Jun. 16th, 2009|09:43 pm]

My Etsy Store:

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=7302748

LinkStab Here

Urge to kill, RISING. [Jun. 14th, 2009|05:17 pm]

So much is going on.  I am trying to keep my head level, and hope I can accomplish a lot of things.  I hope I am not going to screw things up.  I had one minor setback, but I’m sure it is not as dire as I make it out to be.

Things are great with Dustin and I.  Wonderful in fact.  He takes care of me, and I hope I take care of him enough.

I cracked, and ate a hamburger.  I didn’t throw up, so my body isn’t rejecting meat like it used to be.  The bad news is, I broke out horribly afterwards.  Okay, not horribly.  I got more than one pimple, so for me that’s a horrible breakout occurrence.  nonetheless, I am going to minimize the meat i eat, and maintain mostly a vegetarian diet.

All together, things are great though.

Link1 Tear|Stab Here

Repo! The Genetic Opera! Shadowcasting [Jun. 8th, 2009|11:38 pm]

Like I said on my Myspace blog, I may very well fail miserably at this, but I want to at least attempt to make this happen.  I am attempting to formulate a ‘Repo!’ shadow cast.  I’m thinking friday night performances, so Rocky Horror with LB will not conflict.  There is technically a Dallas cast, but they are no further than I am now, SO I will be making this another DFW Repo cast based in Ft. Worth.

I’m doing it for the love of Repo, and performing.  I miss it, but I do not feel like returning to rocky.  SO this is a good second chance I guess.

 

Like I said, I may fail horribly, but at least I will give it a damn try.

I have a few people I can already count on.  I’m just curious how many others will.  Here’s hoping.

Link7 Stab Here|Stab Here

Sorry, my bloging skills have been fading. [Jun. 3rd, 2009|05:11 pm]

I have been facebooking and twittering too much, therefore ignoring my blogging.  I know, I fail at life.

Things are going well for me.  I have been playing the game “Alice” as of late.  It is nice and creepy.

I have been talking a Dustin on the comp. and in texts a lot lately, so much of my random musings are forwarded strait to him.

We are doing another movie night tonight.  We will see which films we choose.  BUT its all good

Not sure what else to report really.  I’m sure there will be another big blog coming, I can feel it brewing, it is just a batter of time that it boils to the surface.

Link6 Stab Here|Stab Here

It’s been a while [May. 22nd, 2009|11:15 pm]

Dustin and I are now Dating.  It feels weird.  It has been a while.

Link1 Tear|Stab Here

At the computer at moms Church [May. 21st, 2009|10:44 pm]

I have gotten a lot done screenplay-wise. AND  I have been thinking a lot about my romantic thoughts. Go figure, who doesn't this happen to?

Still have not received a call regarding RENT.  I don’t blame them.  My audition was horrible.  I had to start over Out Tonight because i could not hear the piano [even though it was loud as all hell] and I messed up the words for take me or leave me.  I wouldn’t give myself a callback.

ANYWAY, this just means I get to write a lot.

Also means I get to go to The Church [Goth club for those of you who are out of the Dallas Ft. Worth Area] again with Dustin and Tora.  It will be much fun.  I [in an odd way] feel like dancing.  Which is odd, because i don’t like bringing attention to myself… because when i shake my hips, most people notice.  I’m not bragging, and I'm not a prude.  I just really don’t like attention at all.  I can’t help it.

Not sure what else to talk about really.  I’m just here at the back of the hall… just on my computer with no internet… going through the motions.

Y’ know? I’m glad all the friends i have are good ones…. even those that I have never met in person and developed friendships on line… all of them are great friends.

The oddest part is I am keeping up with their lives.  WEIRD. Usually I am horrible at it.  but I guess they are JUST THAT AWESOME.

It’s almost nine, with NO callback for RENT. Oh well.  That means I can have more freedom this summer.  God, I’m a college student who does not like going out and partying during the day… I do it all at night.  God, I sound like a such a Goth. 

I don't think I could ever consider myself a Goth anymore… I like to Just Keep Swimming. Also, when I go there, I know I am not one of those little wannabe’s out there trying to get people to pay attention to them, Dustin and I like to hang out on the top balcony of the dance floor and simply watch the ants dance.  It gives you a powerful feeling.

This is turning into a VERY long post, and I am sorry for that, but not really.  lol.  YOU WILL TAKE IT!!!!!

I know at least two people find my little blurbs on life interesting to say the least.

My mom is such a great actress.  I wish she did it more when she was raising me.  She used to always do community theater before she had me.  I am happy she was around, but it made her SOOOOOOOO happy. 

Sorry, sidetracked/  Wait, did I really have a point?  lol

Well, I could always go back to romance.  Who doesn't like hearing about it? [me?]  Photocopiedheart put it best.

“It’s like in those movies where her best friend has loved her for as long as he has known her and she just never noticed he was there until the last minute. and then is all like OMG, I LOVE YOU!  YOU WERE THE ONE MENT FOR ME ALL ALONG!!!”

Okay, it is 99% not like that. I don't like using the word LOVE casually like that.  That word has the power to make or break any situation.  lol

But no, I’m not head over heels as to say currently, but I feel he is at least worth finding out if there is anything behind it.

URGH, this just caught me so much by surprise.  I was just hanging out with a friend.  lol  I guess that is just how things like this work.

OH I forgot, I was going to post some pictures on here.  Think I'm going to do it vagina_salad style.  EVERYTHING AT ONCE.

I’ll start with Texas Frightmare Zombie Walk.

My Photographer MOUSE RAMONE is the guy in the Cowboy hat.

Texas Frightmare 2009 006 Texas Frightmare 2009 008 Texas Frightmare 2009 030 Texas Frightmare 2009 019 Texas Frightmare 2009 032 Texas Frightmare 2009 045 Texas Frightmare 2009 048 Texas Frightmare 2009 038 Texas Frightmare 2009 053 Texas Frightmare 2009 056 Texas Frightmare 2009 061 Texas Frightmare 2009 072 Texas Frightmare 2009 078 Texas Frightmare 2009 081 Texas Frightmare 2009 085Texas Frightmare 2009 082  Texas Frightmare 2009 088 Texas Frightmare 2009 099

Me Meeting famous people at Texas Frightmare

Jason Mewes of Kevin Smith Fame [Jay of Jay and Silent Bob] he is hotter in person. me=schoolgirl

Texas Frightmare 2009 107

Me and ‘Sherriff Wydel’ in House of a 1000 corpses

Texas Frightmare 2009 108

Blurry pic of me and Mama Firefly [House of a 1000 corpses and Devils Rejects]

Texas Frightmare 2009 109

Texas Frightmare 2009 110 Texas Frightmare 2009 121

Last one is Alice Cooper getting a Lifetime Achievement Award

Whole mess of stuff 064 me and krispy kreme 004 mah new makeup and hur 037 Whole mess of stuff 083 Whole mess of stuff 085

Me as Harley Quinn with my Best Friend Stephanie as Poison Ivy

l_bc8441db518c4e90b8e0aab584cd847b

Things I did in painting class

 2 3 5 1513   14 12Whole mess of stuff 026

 

 

Me with no makeup in 1, 3,and 4. 2 is me before heading out to the church last week. 1 is the hair after a SLIGHT bleaching. Should have done more. rest is with purple hair.

random 002 random 003 random 008 random 010

My friend Tora Modeling one of the Steampunk Skirts I made.  The Purple dress in the background is my latest work of art. and the background is my room.  I have too much stuff.

random 011 random 014

Pics I took of my mom.

 random 039 random 015 random 066

This was the Chalk about it competition, where the first pic is what they left it as, the second I filled in the rest.  I was in the hot sun for an hour and a half.  I was not about to let the Creative Arts Club [who held the competition] have such a sucky rectangle.

Whole mess of stuff 053Whole mess of stuff 039

Two of my best buds, my versions of Monica and Pheobe. [Stephanie and the Tora]

first picture dump 030 first picture dump 034 first picture dump 028 first picture dump 026 first picture dump 038

 

Stuff from the backyard and home.

first picture dump 002 first picture dump 003 first picture dump 006 first picture dump 009

I made this.  :D

race card 002 steampunkgoggles 001

 

9:30pm, still no word from RENT.  It was a nice dream to have.  :*(

Link12 Stab Here|Stab Here

Oh my… [May. 21st, 2009|03:51 pm]

I did not expect this.

I was just going to hang out with a friend and watch some movies.  Instead not really watching movies and talking for six hours.  yeah.  SIX

He’s always been a really good friend i trust, and I never thought I would start to have feelings for him.  OR Have I always had feelings, and they just chose now to come about?

I guess being alone in the dark with someone does that.  Granted nothing happened, but the way the conversation flowed… it just didnt seem like two friends hanging out.

I Don’t know.  I’m willing to give him a chance, even though if this does not work, it ends up ruining a wonderful friendship…

He was always on the outside when I was with one of my exes, and always snapped them back in line when he was around.

He also disclosed to be about a week ago that he had a thing for me back in the day.  A big thing.

[sigh]

I could talk forever how bad things could be if things do take off.  BUT How much better things would be if it went right.  How perfect would things ever be?

BUT I don’t want to look into the future.  I’m move curious about now.

“I neva look bac dahhling, it distracts from the Nouw.” – Edan Mode [Incredibles]

LinkStab Here

OMG! I’m sorry [May. 19th, 2009|03:33 pm]

Twitter has kept me from posting on here, and I apologize.

A lot has been going on.  I auditioned for the role of Mimi in a local production of RENT here in Dallas. Won’t find out until the 21st.

Other news… in 3 years after I finish school, my Friend Dustin and I are [drum roll] planning on moving to Europe.

I figure this is the only way i will get off my ass and do it.  I trust him, and i wont get taken advantage of my anyone there, because he looks like he would kill anyone he wanted to at the slightest inkling.

Super good news for all my friends over the pond.  I will get to visit you all.

We want to live in a place that is kind of in the middle of all the best cities,  but we are willing to live on the railway as far as spending time in the cities that make up happy.  Anyone want to inform us on the best places to live?

Again, this is still just a plan as of now. It is tentative on people not getting knocked up, or married.

We are also thinking of maybe adding a third person.  BUT have not decided on anyone yet.  We have a good idea though.

Though I know I will need to pay Vagina_salad a visit since she is wicked amazing, and Dustin want to see Dublin and never leave.  We will see how things go.

Link4 Stab Here|Stab Here

No subjet me thinks [May. 12th, 2009|12:11 pm]

I am already not liking this semester ending.  I am still in bed [I love Lap Tops], and have not gotten dressed yet.  I woke up and still had the headache as the evening beforehand.  I’m almost certain now that it is just a sinus headache, since i have run out of Zyrtec.

I am going to the Church Thursday.  I have not been to that Goth club [in Dallas for my friends not in Texas] in i think four years…  I could be forgetting an instance…. I’m going with Justin and Tora.  We will also meet up with Emily once we get there.

I’m thinking of making up some cards for myself.  That way if I meet anyone I can network with all I have to do is give them a card… yes I will do this.

Blah didy didy blah blah…

LinkStab Here

your a FREAK! [May. 11th, 2009|02:44 am]

Sometimes I feel so very much a freak of nature.  I never look at it in a negative way though.

Sometimes I am amazed at my intuition, most of the time i get what I don’t want to hear. Other times I find I’m dead on.  I consider myself a flight risk when it comes to intense high emotional risk situations. What are those situations? ha, that’s for you to worry about.

I can honestly say I am in the best mental state I have ever been [does that mean I’m in a bad mental state?].  I may have some severe weaknesses, but I am starting to learn to use them to my advantage, turn them into strengths.

I also like all my available options right now.  In several avenues of my life I find many people I can pursue for different things.  Something I never thought I would be able to do… but… I am finding it easier and easier stand up for myself and say “no” when it is fitting.  I am proud.  I deserve the best in life, and when someone offers me less than what I deserve, then there is no need to proceed.  That is something my mother has told me throughout my life.   I feel like I can do it now.

Many times in the past I would just let my wants and needs be put aside, in order to help someone else in their life path [and to make them happy, hoping they would return the favor… still waiting].  Most of the time these people would be my now exes… tricking me into pushing the pause button on things I cared about because what was on their plate was more important.  Just because I care for you does not mean I come second.

Though I feel like I need to say something… I rant about my exes a lot I find, but one of them needs be put pointed out for being the exception.  He was a good boyfriend, fantastic even.  When we broke up I thought it was the end of the world, because I was still VERY immature… and so foolish.  Truth was, he was one of the best people I have ever became friends with.  he takes care of people he cares for.  He has never messed with my head, and has always tried his hardest to do good.  He is known as English/ Chris/ Christopher [to his mother Annie, who is the main reason he is such a good human being].  He has been and always will be the exception to the exes I mention.  I can honestly say he is one of the best human beings I have ever met.  I have found we work much better as friends.  But only time can help you see strait.  He has been dealt some harsh blows in life, and I only wish his pain could be eased.  Of all people he deserves to be happy.  He and his mother are proof that European people are more my type of people.

Being the hippie-liberal-Obama loving-Geek-nerd I am, I am amused at the little turns life has taken to me so far.  It seems Karma is finally turning out in my favor.  Now I have some choices to make… all roads lead to happiness who wins? apparently I win in every instance.  sweet.

eeny meeny miney mo….

Link3 Stab Here|Stab Here

Attempting being human again [May. 10th, 2009|01:37 am]

What brand of underwear you wearing?
I was wearing my victorias Secret ones… Don’t remember this brand.

How often do you shave your legs?
When I remember to. Yes, I forget.

How many times do you wear a pair of jeans before washing them?
Until I notice I’ve worn them before.  I’m guessing that’s 3 or 4 times

Do you always wash your belly button and behind your ears?
Always behind my ears

Ever kiss someone who was dating or married to someone else?
nope [at least I don’t think so…]

Ever been paid for sex or a sexual favor?
no. why are you asking?

Have you ever egged someones house or car?
it is a right of passage.  It was okay, they got me back

Ever taken diet pills?
oddly enough not to loose weight.  I did it in high school to try and become a better student.  Hey, I didn’t say I was smart in high school

Last time you washed your car?
you mean to tell me, water does not take the paint off? huh… who knew…

Have you been fired from a job?
never have

Have you ever had an abortion?
thousands.  No, never had one.

Did you vote for George W. Bush?
NO NO NO NO NO 

Have you ever stolen something from work or school? If so, What?
I seem to steal pens without knowing I am doing it

Ever purposely made yourself throw up?
no.  I don’t like the way throwing up feels.  So I try to avoid being nauseous.

Last time you played with yourself?
uhh, how about brain teasers?  heh heh

Have you purposely flirted with a friends crush?
nope.

Worst drug or substance you have used or abused?

How often do you drink alcohol?
socially, or when friends or parents want you as entertainment for the night.  lol [funny story]

Do you own a dildo or vibrator? If so, what color?
So, Hi mom.  How are you doing today?

Ever cheated on your taxes?
If I did, blame my tax guy.

Have your parents ever been in trouble with the law?
dont think so, but my mom has had a very colorful past…

Have you taken money out of the offering plate at church?
no. never crossed my mind really.

Ever stolen your neighbor's newspaper?
no. never cared enough

Have you video taped yourself being naughty?
dont think so lol

Ever been involved in insurance fraud?
i wish! [Vagina_Salad puts it well]

Last time you went to a strip club or nudie bar?
I was still with Wes

Have you ever stolen candy from a baby/kid?
no

Ever siphon someones gas?
that would involve me caring enough to.

Would you date an ex-con?
depends on the reason he’s in.  If it is for Raping babies, I dont think It could last very long….  lol yeah, no.

Have you ever stuck anything up your butt?
LMAO!!! I am so happy I did not read ahead in this survey!

Ever tried to make a bomb?
no, I would end up blowing myself up.

Are you friends with any strippers?
When I worked at Electrique Boutique and went to strip clubs with Wes all the time.

Ever been involved in a hit and run accident?
no

Have you gotten a DUI or DWI?
no, it involves me being selfish enough to drive after having any alcohol.

Besides bills, what do you spend most your money on?
One needs money to spend it. Though I am fortunate to have a father who was very good with money who has retired comfortably, and is able to give me some cash here and there.

Have you ever collected unemployment?
no, because my ex employer told them I quit after they fired me thanksgiving weekend.

Ever stolen someone's lawn ornaments or decorations?
no but I have thought about it really hard.

Have you ever done anything vile to someone's toothbrush?
no, I would have to care about doing anything to it.

Ever trespassed on private property?
Even before Zack. talked me into it.

What is the worst thing you have ever done?
Taught myself to stop feeling.  I should have let myself feel.

LinkStab Here

Something’s up with Jack…Something’s up with Jack………[He&rsqu [May. 10th, 2009|01:16 am]

For the longest time I seemed to coach myself into avoiding feeling any complex feelings.  Feelings that could one day hurt me, but that is not the subject. [Or is it?]

I built up this magnificent resistance to mushy feelings.  I cut them off at the pass, and was a professional at making fun of them.  Cutting a joke so wonderful it would force me to forget the subject matter.  Now it seems I am failing.  All those things I have worked so hard not to feel are pouring out. Granted, it was just a matter of time before I would break. 

I’m not even sure what the catalyst is in this little situation to suddenly make it impossible for me to keep up those perfect crystal walls around those emotions that force me to feel, and remember the pain that will eventually follow.  I don’t know what it is… but it is cracking those walls and they are crashing hard and loud around me.

The emotions creep up on me, before i even notice I am feeling them.  It does not sadden me, but it causes me to be shaken off balance… as if i forgot how to function as a human being.  That I am a robot forced to analyze and produce emotions after years of research on the subject.

Granted I have noticed them the most while watching things that I feel strongly about.

[Enter a severely geeky moment.  You have been forewarned.]

The first attack [that I remember or noticed] was the first time I saw Star Trek at the early preview screening I caught with some of my best buds.  The intro where Kirks father and mother have their goodbyes.  It made me almost break into tears.

If you know me [at least as far as I know of myself], I push myself away from moments like that, where i remember pain of the past [I never gave birth, but try to follow me here] and it is so fresh, burns and stings at your insides like a thousand needles ramming through your chest, making breathing hard.

I chalked it up to great cinematography, being the film and Star Trek buff that I am. Then AGAIN being the geek I am, I viewed it again with the parents.  This time I cried.  I really cried.  I cannot remember the last time I let myself feel the hurt from all those broken hearts… letting them consume me for a few moments.  It was odd.  I was not depressed.  I was still my current self, not the stupid stupid girl that lets the guy dictate her worth, and not the one that made those allowances for hurting her. Breaking promises, and frequent excuses.

It was me letting myself feel again. 

Even though it was so painful, I welcomed it.  In a weird way I missed being able to let myself feel.  I have been so scared of letting people in for so long, maybe now I can honestly LET them in.  I don’t think I have even let Stephanie 100% of the way in… not even my own mother knows all of the conflicting bits of information in my cluttered mind.  Stephanie is close though.  I sense she feels and thinks of the same happiness, and demons as I do.

The most recent experience of feeling was again a geek moment.

I was watching the scenes for the next upcoming Dr. Who [which I have already seen three times with no effect].  It is the episode where Rose “dies”.  The doctor does not even get to tell her that he has loved her all along.[Though he comes SO very close to- just a second too late]

[I know she mentions a baby, and plays it off as her bothers.  BUT in my little fan girl way I see her wanting to tell him she is with his child…. but that’s strays from the point.  Or does it?]

It was just the clips of that episode, and I was crying heavily.  I was feeling all of those emotions I kept locked up.  I never thought I would be able to feel again. 

 

I have been wanting to act and feel like a normal person for a while now, but I forgot how.  I am trying to remember how to show my emotions to others around me.  hmmm  I seem to have a lot more issues than I once previously thought.  No worries though, it does not sadden me, it just emphasizes I am human.  I am constantly learning new things about myself.  Though I wish for one thing, to stop wishing to be more than what I already am.

 

I doubt I could loose any more people with this blog post, so I will stop now.

LinkStab Here

eep [May. 9th, 2009|07:53 pm]

My eyes are hurting from being on the computer all day.

Did a lot of writing .

found the best internet resource for filmmakers

found and installed the worlds best FREE software for filmmakers, that makes me cry happy tears.

I just noticed I have not eaten today

I’m exhausted but happy

have to decide what I’m doing this summer with my free time

I will go now.

LinkStab Here

Zombie’s vs. Vampires [May. 5th, 2009|09:54 pm]

I started the discussion/ argument on facebook, and it got me happy, so I am also giving you guys a chance to weigh your thoughts.

REMEMBER

1.]Vampires and zombies need humans for food

2.]vampires cannot be infected with any type of disease because of their biological makeup

3.] If you take a stance defend it.  Others may try to disprove you.  remember your answer is right because you have veto power.

NOW… DEBATE!

Link4 Stab Here|Stab Here

Because Zombies have rights too!!! [May. 5th, 2009|08:24 pm]
LinkStab Here

Surveys [May. 4th, 2009|10:25 pm]

Be honest, who were you texting a little while ago?
Morgan from Art club


Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
yes

What is something that you realized today?
I am  an actual artist… wow.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
yes.  a few.

How late did you stay up last night, why?
two.  PBS britcoms

Have you ever ridden a horse?
yes

You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life, what is it?
water.

Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours?
:( no

Are you a patient person?
too much so

Are you afraid of death/dying?
not really…

How's your heart lately?
put together again. waiting for the next fall of the hammer to it tho.


When was the last time you cried?
Don’t know, ask Steph, she is always picks me up when i have a low spot.  It seems to have been quite a while now since.


Think a lot before you fall asleep?
too damn much.

What do you think your number 1 is doing right now?
on myspace? Stephanie?  complaining about her neck hurting.  She had a mole removed from her neck and is in pain.  :(

Do you enjoy late night phone conversations?
i effing LOVE them

Were you happy when you woke up today?
sure was.

What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
…went back to bed…. lol then remembered i needed to get up.

What were you doing at 8 this morning?
sleeping BLISSFULLY

What are you excited for?
everything.  i mean, i have so much going on, and i am so busy, BUT i have never been this happy before.

Do you have curly hair?
No, wavy.  I sometimes strait iron it.

Are you mad at anyone right now?
nope.  Not even myself!

Do you live on your own?
nope.

Would you like receiving flowers or do you think that's tacky?
the sarcastic side of me makes jokes about it, but on the inside, the hopeless romantic swoons.

How have you felt today?
tired, exhausted, and blissfully happy.

Are you happy at the moment?
dear god yes.  to think a year ago i was not in a very happy mood…. wow, life changes so quickly…and for the better too.

What do you hear right now?
a fan blowing air on me

Where's your phone right now?
next to me, just got off the phone with Steph

Do you have any plans for the weekend?
lol no, im broke.  but i will probably find something to distract me from studying for my finals

Who was the last guy you talked to?
ummm, some guy in my drawing class who was critiquing my artwork [it was positive!]

How's your hair?
better looking than i thought it was right now.  lol

BLINK-BLINK

uhhh… hmmm. good question. wait… was I even alive this Thursday? damn, right.  I was.  then I don’t remember.

Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Katie from my Drawing class

Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
yes. sure have.  Not going to tell you who!

Do you say sorry first?
depends on how stubborn I am at the moment.

Has someone ever made you a promise & broke it?
ALL THE EFFING TIME.. wait… I’m not with Wes anymore… HA HA, two years of people keeping their promises then.

Are you alone?
are we truly ever really alone?

What are you eating?
I ate some vegetarian ‘chicken’ nuggets with Ranch dressing

Last time you laughed really hard?
On the phone with Steph

Your ex calls you, what do you say?
I’m sorry, Raechel doesn’t live here anymore. “But this is her cell phone…” uhhh YEAH I know that… uhh… [Indian accent] thank you for calling tech support, we appreciate your business, and we will call you back at your provided number, thank you come again! [click]

Have you talked to a complete jerk today?
don’t think so, WAIT… no.

Want someone back in your life?
I think I will trust in natural selection.

What are you excited for?
being done with Finals

Are you scared to fall in love?
not going to lie.  Yes.  When I do fall, I fall hard, and miss some important red flags, and make too many damn excuses for bad behavior.  BUT It is when I felt most alive… and I’d be willing to do it all over again for the right person.

Do you think teenagers can be in love?
no.  They try so hard, like I did.  ENGAGED at 19!!!!!  WHO WAS I KIDDING!!!!!!!!

Do you find it hard to trust others?
not so much.  I don’t give people much of a change now a days.  Those who do have my trust have seen me at my worst, and still loved me, and picked me up. so those I trust have earned it.

Do you care too much/not at all/just enough?
I think I can balance the two just fine.

How fast does your mood change?
quick, but not bipoloar or anything.  If the right traumatic situation hits me, I can be a blubbering mess just as bad as the next person.  BUT if something blissful happens I can be on cloud 9.

I bet you miss somebody right now?
I’ve missed a lot of people.  and I still do.   A lot of people for different reasons, but yes.

Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
I don’t think I have ever felt more okay in my life. [as of yet]

LinkStab Here

NSFW! VULGAR [May. 3rd, 2009|10:17 pm]

A LOT of sexually oriented things in this hilarious music video, and a LOT of swearing, so this is RIGHT up your alley…

 

[pics of texas frightmare 2009 coming soon for my LJ peeps

LinkStab Here

So very tired [pics in next post] [May. 2nd, 2009|06:52 pm]

got up at the crack of effing dawn ME at 6AM!!!  AM!!!!

Got to the sight of the zombie walk,shot that much fun…

Got to meet Jason Meaues [sp?] of Kevin smith fame

Got to meet Sheriff Wydell, & Mama Dragonfly from house of a 1000 corpses

I was at Texas Frightmare Con BTW… should have mentioned that…

Was walking around, and got cast as an extra in a horror film they were making at the hotel.  It is already slated for some important film festivals too.  I’m an extra at a party, with a lot of face time.  Apparently since we had to do so many takes, that the group i was with formed a silent routine.  I was bringing a date to the party, and having him meet my three friends, i then begin to tell him some stories of us three hanging out together, i get the girls approval that he is date worthy, when we realize one of the three people who are now known to us as not supposed to be there pulls out a gun and shoots one of the people at the party.  my “date” tries to shield me in case of more fire, and then we notice all three are killing people.  Two of them as stabbing people and one is shooting.  my “date” gets shot, while protecting me, and then the gun is turned on me, in which i turn out a brilliant performance if I do say so myself…. and then they begin to go about their own business, when one of the killers kills the other killer, in which he falls right in front of me, BUT you get to see MOI in the background. 

I got a lot of face time in that shoot.  I’m happy.  Can’t wait to see what they came up with.  Maybe next year I will audition for a main part!

 

NOW, I received a text message on my phone which is on my bed, that is calling my name.

Love you guys, will post more later.

[snores]

LinkStab Here

Writer's Block: End of the World as We Know It [May. 1st, 2009|11:20 am]
[Tags|, ]

Robert Frost speculated about the world ending in fire or in ice. Which do you think is likely to end us all: meteorite, global warming, nuclear weapons, zombies, or the superflu?


View other answers



all those who died from the swine flu will be re animated, and the zombie Apocalypse will commence. at least that what the media is hoping for so they can have more news coverage....
Link1 Tear|Stab Here

To my Livejournal PEEEPS [Apr. 30th, 2009|03:07 pm]

I am officially obsessed with the ‘Tweetdeck’ application you can get that basically merges your twitter and facebook account.  I have also enabled the 12 seconds video posting thingy.  SO  I also post videos on my twitter, and soon it will have a feature that automatically posts it to facebook.

The thing is there are some of my livejournal friends that I want to keep up with a lot on here, because it is strangely addictive, even if you have a life.

Two people I really wish had this… Bruiseme_please [did I put the underscore in the right place?], and Vagina_Salad.

These are only two of the wicked awesome people I would love to waste away life with on Tweetdeck.  SO, c’mon everyone's doing it…

Link2 Stab Here|Stab Here

I know this sounds stupid but… [Apr. 29th, 2009|03:22 pm]

I may have been watching too many movies, but….

A part of me expects when a cure for the swine flu comes around, it will kill those affected instead and reanimate the corpses.

Thus all my “needless” planning for a zombie outbreak will have reason, and I can laugh in my dads face and say “I told you so!!!”

 

 

 

Or, I just may have a fabulously creative imagination…

Link8 Stab Here|Stab Here

Section 31 [Apr. 27th, 2009|08:52 pm]

I have jumped headfirst into becoming more of a geek.  BUT  it is okay.

I am joining my friend with an idea him and another friend have had.  Okay, I want to post some Webisodes on youtube, but I didn’t have an idea of what to do.  SO  he told me about his little geekdom of wanting to do a series based off of Section 31.  Section 31 is the secret service of Star Trek, and is well known for bending the rules.

 

So, that’s the idea on the table for now.  Here’s hoping I actually get off my ass and actually do it this time…

more info:

S31

Section 31 is the official designation of a covert secret police organization within Starfleet, which deals with threats to the security of Earth, and later the United Federation of Planets. Its operating authority stems from an oft-overlooked provision of the Starfleet charter — Article 14, Section 31, from which they derive their name — that makes allowances for bending the rules during times of extraordinary threats. While the original intent may have been to give Starfleet personnel some leeway when it comes to unusual or extreme circumstances, some Starfleet officials have taken it a step further in creating a standing organization able to respond to any threat, preemptively if need be. Section 31 might be compared to the Romulan Tal Shiar or Cardassian Obsidian Order, but operates much more clandestinely and effectively (and, unlike those organizations, does not interfere in the day-to-day lives of Federation citizens).

They defy the principles of the Federation in order to protect them, which is one of the reasons why Section 31 is not officially sanctioned by Starfleet, and even its very existence is not acknowledged openly. But the philosophy of protection at any cost that allows for Section 31 is employed officially by Starfleet in other venues, such as with the ultra-secret "Omega Directive," which gives captains almost unlimited authority to destroy the dangerous omega molecule, including violating Starfleet's Prime Directive of noninterference.

Think you have what it takes?

Link1 Tear|Stab Here

My bed would not let me get up this morning. [Apr. 23rd, 2009|10:56 am]

I was running 5 minutes late to a fave class, and I knew I could make it from the parking lot to the seat in less than ten minutes,so I would be within the 15 min window for arrival.  I reached behind my drivers seat to notice I had forgotten to grab my backpack in leaving the house.

SO

I get to miss a class I like because I’m groggy.  So, I will actually get to eat some breakfast this morning.  this is going to be weird…

LinkStab Here

Wednesday, bloody Wednesday… [Apr. 22nd, 2009|06:13 pm]

Okay, in the middle of Drawing class, my earlobe started bleeding again.  The weird part, only my friend Katie even noticed i was bleeding, ALL OVER MY WHITE SHIRT.  It looked like I cut my artery.  I walked around the school, and not ONE PERSON noticed.  Sure I got it to stop bleeding when Katie shoved me into the bathroom to stop the bleeding [which stopped almost immediately].

The teacher was even on that side for most of the day, but DID NOT NOTICE.

 

 

WEIRD.  AND Yes, the ear is healing like it should be…  This should last time come to think of it.

Link3 Stab Here|Stab Here

SQUEE [Apr. 22nd, 2009|12:09 am]

Thank you rebelfilms!

Link1 Tear|Stab Here

Blame Tora for this one… [Apr. 21st, 2009|05:23 pm]

Random Entertainy Thing


Just put your music on random, whichever song plays put in the first few lines of that song.

1. First thing you say every morning:

I see you sit
And swallow pain
For all of those
Who will not speak
You raise your voice
You fill the stage
Your eyes are wide
You know the weakness
That you've felt
Is not just yours
So many more
You're not alone
The song you sing is not your own
You fill the room with something real

[Flobots – Never Had It]

2. First thing you think every morning:

ooh - ooh - baby
it's to the best of my knowledge I guess that I'm fresh - so
ooh - ooh - baby
cause i got the diabolical sound coming through your speaker

[Mindless Self Indulgence – Diabolical]

3. What you say to your friends most often:

Switching on and off between Andre "3000" and "Bentley Farnsworth"]
[Andre]
Ahhh, such sweet sound
The Fiddler on the Fuckin' Roof
Is that Mr. Bentley Fonzworth?
[Bentley Farnsworth]
Indeed it is Sir
Good day, good sir
How do you do? Look fine
[Bentley Farnsworth]
Fantastically well
I am certainly not fine by far
But you could say
I'm close to spectacular
[Andre]
Close to spectacular? How so?
[Bentley Farnsworth]
Open your eyes
Spectacular's right in front of you

[Outcast – Good Day, Good Sir]

4. What do you say to the love of your life?:

Once upon a time
They called me the bleeder
Well swimmin' up this river
With sentimental fever
But this ain't my first ride
It ain't my last try
Just got to keep a-movin' on
If they catch me ever
They'll throw me back forever

[The Wallflowers – Bleeders]


5. What do you say/call your worst enemy?:

My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be,
Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me,
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright,
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright,
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony,

[Bloodhound Gang – Three Point One Four]


6. What do you say whenever you have a break up?:

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

[Josh Groban – Vincent]


7. What did/do/are going to say at prom?:

Over time I've come to feel
That everything must come apart it seems
From the little child to the man of power
From the beggar to the angel of my dreams
From the thinnest thread we are sewn together
From the finest string we dangle over time
From the highest wire do we walk through fire
Should our balance ever falter
Should our steps be unaligned
Such a big storm yeah such a strong wind blowing
Such a loud voice calling for me to cross the line

[Oingo Boingo; Ghostbusters 2 soundtrack – Flesh and Blood]


8. Your view on life:

Last summer we took threes across the board
But by fall we were a cover story "now in stores"
Make us poster boys for your scene
But we are not making an acceptance speech
I found the safest place to keep all our old mistakes
Every dot com's refreshing for a journal update

[Fall Out Boy – Thriller]


9. What about mental breakdowns?:

Don't tell me to stop
Tell the rain not to drop
Tell the wind not to blow
'Cause you said so, mmm
Tell the sun not to shine
Not to get up this time, no, no
Let it fall by the way
But don't leave me where I lay down

[Madonna – Don’t Tell me"]


10. Thoughts while driving?:

Living a different way. You can't expect me to be the same.
Separating our lives and wondering why.
Face down I walk away. Every time I think I do the right thing,
you turn your back on me.

[Godsmack – Trippin’]


11. View on Religion?:

Shakedown 1979, cool kids never have the time
On a live wire right up off the street
You and I should meet
Junebug skipping like a stone
With the headlights pointed at the dawn
We were sure we'd never see an end to it all
And I don't even care to shake these zipper blues
And we don't know

[Smashing Pumpkins – 1979]


12. Getting back together with your ex:[HA!]
[LMAO BTW]

Mama,just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger,now hes dead,
Mama,life had just begun,
But now Ive gone and thrown it all away-
Mama ooo,
Didnt mean to make you cry-
If Im not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on,carry on,as if nothing really matters-

[Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody]


13. At your wedding/friend’s wedding:

Hey there sugar baby
Saw you twice at the pop show
You taste just like glitter
Mixed with rock and roll
I like you a lot lot
Think you're really hot hot
I know you think you're special
When we dance real crazy
Glamaphonic, electronic, disco baby
I like you a lot lot
All we want is hot hot

[Lady Ga Ga – Boys Boys Boys]


14. Your final battle (be it emotional or physical):

I'm not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb
or maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy
my heart is broke
But I have some glue
help me inhale
And mend it with you
We'll float around]
And hang out on clouds
Then we'll come down
And I have a hangover...
Have a hangover

[Nirvana – Dumb]


15. At Death/Funeral:

Underneath the bridge
The tarp has sprung a leak
And the animals I've trapped
Have all become my pets
And I'm living off of grass
And the drippings from the ceiling
But it's ok to eat fish
Cause they haven't any feelings

[Nirvana – Something in the Way]


16. Last Thought before going to sleep:

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

[Johnny Cash – Walk the line]

LinkStab Here

Jery Bunny made me do it. [Apr. 21st, 2009|04:45 pm]

If you are reading this then you have to do it (it only takes a couple minutes I Promise!). Then, tag it back to the person who sent it to you and the rest of your friends!
Seven names you go by:


1. Star
2. Harley
3. Raechel
4. Rabid Zombie Bunny
5. Jezzele De Fatale
6. Raechelharleystar [morgan]
7. Harley-star [stephanie]


Three things you are wearing right now:
1.boxers
2.shirt
3. underwear


Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. To be able to take a nap
2. watch cable TV instead of network tv.
3. My own pesonal Harem including Seth McFarlane, Josh Groban and some other third person I can’t remember right now.


Three People who will fill this out
1. Dumb
2. Dumber
3. Dumbest


Two things you did last night:
1. cleaned
2. read


Two Things you ate today:
1. Sweet Potato French Fries
2. Cheesecake Factory double chocolate cheesecake


Three things you are doing or did today:
1. Wished I was in Painting class
2. Wishing I was in Philosophy class
3. won a couple million dollars


People you last talked to on the phone:
1. Tora
2. Stephanie
3. Joshie


Two things you are going to do tomorrow:
1. Class -_-
2. Read


Your favorite beverages:
1. Hot tea or iced tea
2. water with lemon


Here's what you're supposed to do.... And please do not Spoil the fun.
Copy this note and paste in your notes. Delete my answers and type in yours.
Then tag a whole bunch of people you know INCLUDING the Person who sent it to you.

LinkStab Here

Home from school [Apr. 21st, 2009|11:53 am]

Not feeling up to school, so I am staying in bed today.

I still plan on hanging out with a new friend tonight tho.  I flaked on him last time, so I have to today.  lol

 

I planned on writing more, but I just want to curl up with a book right now…

LinkStab Here

Drawing Class [Apr. 20th, 2009|02:50 pm]
[Tags|]
[Here at |TCC Southeast Campus]
[Im feeling | artistic]
[Tastes like... |Flobots - "Stand Up"]

So I am in my drawing class today, but we are on the computer in the graphics lab. God, I remember being in rooms like these back in the day. Much fun!

I passed out last night eventually after my body tried its hardest to stay awake. I hate that.

I have been sketching some stuff that I may make into a Maga. I'm not sure. I want to practice more, I know that. Thinking of turning that fairytale I was writing into a graphic novel of sorts, but in order to do that, I feel I need to further my drawing skills. The usual stuff.

I woke up this morning, not wanting to get out of bed. It was just so comphy... it called out my name.. all the good stuff.... ah yes.

I have also been brainstorming quite a bit about the second chapter of my fanfiction, and I have a rough idea of where it is going.

I will not lie, my Panda or godzilla in a panda suit artwork has not even been started. My bad. Sorry world, you will just have to wait. It will be good, I'm sure. All is going well.

I do hate being dirt poor by the way. I am STARVING right now. I will have to pick something up at home, versus here at school. When my stomach is eating itself. lmao.

I went to the Ft. Worth Main Street Arts Festival with my buds and had a blast this weekend. I go evey year, and I love it. I am such an art geek, but I don't care... it tends to make life a lot more interesting. The weird part is that I didn't eat any of the food. I love festival food, not matter how bad it is for you... like the roasted corn and stuff like that.

Like I told everyone else, I found my new musical obession. Flobots. Granted, I am not the first to discover them or anything, but I like it when I fall headfirst into something new. Like the Steampunk thing, it has been around for a little while now, even though it is not mainstream yet... BUT yeah.

I'm just rambling on and on if you did not notice btw. I have pretty much finnished my artwork I should be working on right now, so I decided to take this nice little break...

On friday my parents and I went to our sushi buffet thing at Shushi Ya Ya, and I felt like crying I was so happy. C'mon, all you can eat Sushi for ten dollars, who would not love it [those who don't like Sushi, but I digress].

Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead, and let you guys get a break from reading... lmao Sorry, I am in a babling mood.

BTW, Stephanie comanded me to read Neil Gaimans "Neverwhere" so I should be able to repot to you a little on tonight what I thought of it. Yes, I read books THAT fast. lol It's okay like 370 Pages, which is nothing. lol

SORRY!


Yes, I'm going now, and I mean it this time!!!!
Link2 Stab Here|Stab Here

I love you Donna [Apr. 19th, 2009|04:37 am]
Top Ten Reasons to be Against Same-Sex Marriage


1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8 ) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans
Link5 Stab Here|Stab Here

Remember my POTC fanfiction? [Apr. 15th, 2009|03:09 am]
Remember "What you desire most" fanfiction for Pirates of the Caribbean I started to write so very long ago?

I let it sit for a good long while, and I did some MAJOR re-writing. It is almost like I cleared the slate, and started from scratch...

I will be posting the story updates here along with fanfiction.com

What you Desire Most- Chapter 1 'Mutiny' )
LinkStab Here

Steampunk [Apr. 13th, 2009|02:04 am]

Like I said, I had many things to cosplay Steampunk, so I went through my pile of clothes that are meant to be altered and all that jazz.  I then went into my fabric stash, and I threw together a Jacket that makes my heart soar.  I’m only halfway finished with it.

It started out as a faux suede “hippie” style jacket, cut off the sleeves, [which I will make an attachment to where it will be removable, and show off my shoulders] and added some black fabric with glittering gold paisley designs on it.  I then found some antique looking buttons I adorned on the front.

I went with gold because I was actually working on embroidery on the Jacket before this inspiration struck me.  I did a gold design on the back where the bottom is.  It works perfectly with it.

 steampunk jacket 002 steampunk jacket 010

Yes, that IS my cat Pogo’s leg in the first one.[and my wicked awesome plaid PJ’s!]

I’m proud of myself.  I threw it together in less than an hour.  GRANTED I had already spent a few hours on the back beforehand… 

But remember it is not done. You can’t tell in these pictures, but there are still pins in it.  I will be altering the shape a bit to fit me in a more feminine way.  Also the fabric is not sewn down.  you guessed it… Pinned.

Link1 Tear|Stab Here

I guess it was about to happen anyway… [Apr. 12th, 2009|11:05 pm]

I am beginning to fall headfirst into the Steampunk world.   I was trying to avoid it, because i knew i would fall in love with it.

Sad to say, it is the style I have been thinking about for forever, and I figure it is just about time i get off my ass, and enjoy it.  Meet awesome likeminded people.  All that jazz.  Go figure.

Some things that make me cry happy tears….

il_430xN.64156603 il_430xN.65170360 il_430xN.65521010 il_430xN.65812583

 

It’s okay, I know I’m weird.  What is more weird, I used to hate ruffles with a passion…. I guess it is okay as long as it is tastefully done …  lol

That will be it for my daily blog.  Enjoy Easter!

Link6 Stab Here|Stab Here

Posted in a comment in another friends journal, but I stole it to say happy easter! [Apr. 12th, 2009|04:06 pm]

So yeah, I was commenting on another friends journal, and I saw this in another comment, and it made me REALLY happy.

 

SO

HAPPY EASTER!  EVEN IF YOU DON’T CELEBRATE IT!

Domo

Link1 Tear|Stab Here

Suicide Girls shoot [Apr. 11th, 2009|12:04 pm]

Well, I am QUITE proud of myself here. I do believe I created some art.  SQUEE!!!!!

I spent an hour and a half on the Model’s [one of my best buds] makeup, then 45 min on the hair.  It was all worth it. AND she did NOT end up looking like a porn star either!!! woooo!!

We took 339 frames, and we got more than half we can use.  [THO we dwindled it down to 74 shots to be submitted, the best of the best] 

Right now we are going thru the best of the best, that MUST be in the series.  She will be submitting them to staff first, instead of having the members of the site decide.  That way, she gets more recognition, and possibly more monies.

I will post pictures now.

These are scaled down a lot, and these are the set with her clothes on. [Ain’t I a stinker?] Some of you know who this is!!!  lmao

The Written Word )
Link8 Stab Here|Stab Here

This was my return to rocky. [Apr. 10th, 2009|01:36 am]
This was also my ex playing Brad. I was trying to perform like usual, but him being an ass, decided to do this instead.

Let it be known, all the hits are real, the leg hair pulling is real, and the punches are real. I was LIVID.

Link4 Stab Here|Stab Here

BLARGH! [Apr. 9th, 2009|07:07 pm]

Okay, this is the response to my earlier blog…

 

The “Chalk About It”  thing went very well.   Thanks to me, Art club did not have a blob of shit to show for it.  I’m not trying to be egotistical… the art club president told me so.  She would have added to the square, except she was busy with her own.

There were only three other people in art club that showed up, and two [including the prez of art club] added anything to our square, so me being me, I doodled away for an hour or so and got our club second place.

It was hot with no Breeze, and I sweat five times my own body mass, and kept rehydrating.

LinkStab Here

Just woke up [Apr. 9th, 2009|11:14 am]

I think I am getting back into blogging all day again…

HA HA

Skipping Psychology today 1] I know the material, and am making a B without having purchased the textbook 2] I can get my daily grade by submitting some writing to the teacher online anyways.

I am going to painting though.  I have one more Canvas to finish stretching, and find out [hopefully] if more than one piece of my artwork will be accepted into those competitions.  AND that class is ending early, so I will head over to the “Chalk about it” competition the art club is holding.  People are playing with Chalk in 6ft. squares to produce some art.  The winner takes in $100, BUT I am not competing, I am just going to be there to help the art club with their square.

[I’m happy because I’m listening/ watching Invader Zim on Nick.com.  I have the entire series, but I don’t want to get out of bed just yet.]

Then my buddy Morgan and I [she’s also in art club] get to FINALLY go to Philosophy together.  She hated her A.M class because everyone in there was whiny and complained that they were being picked on, even though people were just displaying their own beliefs.  SO after her and I wanting to have a class together, she switched over to my class.

I am also planning on starting to figure out what my art piece of a panda attacking downtown Tokyo will entitle.

THEN I will watch my Thursday TV stories.  Which reminds me, I need to catch up on my Days of our Lives.  Yes, I am part of the collective.  I started watching it in between semesters, and got hooked. 

Don’t know what else to talk about right now, but I’m sure I will be back, blogging again.

Link1 Tear|Stab Here

Okay, I hope I’m not sounding like a bitch… [Apr. 8th, 2009|11:59 pm]

Okay, the reason I am thinking of returning to modeling temporarily is a girl I saw on deviant art.  Now, when she was being herself she had some AWESOME shots, but god, when she tried to be sexy, instead of just being herself she ruined the pictures.  I have some of the pics here, and I will be posting them, so tell me if I am just being mean or not.  I plan on remaking some of these shots myself… urgh, having to do the modeling thing again, seems like a HUGE project that will require some photographers since my old one moved.

”There )
Link14 Stab Here|Stab Here

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]

Advertisement