I wouldn’t have thought I’d be this happy with someone, let alone be lucky enough to find him.

I’m not scared anymore, and I seem to be welcoming each adventure each day gives us.

Its weird.

I am in love, and I would go through every heartbreak I have ever had before if it means I could feel this way again.

AND that’s the extent of my sappiness.

That’s all you get.

So, my attempt at writing a novel is going well so far.

I’m just letting everyone know I am still alive… I am just immersed in this venture.

This book is one of my life goals, so I am trying to get it over with now versus later when i have forgotten half of the story in my head.

Comment if you have a question about the book or my life right now.  My brain is now mush.

My dad sent this to my mom, who sent it to me.

I now send this to you for your hilarity.

*I swear, some of these witnesses I know. The responses are dead on to what some of my friends would say.

These are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts' and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_________________________ ___________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?   What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________


ATT ORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

• 23:11 thinking of changing hair color back to fire engine red. thoughts? bit.ly/4pS6ji #

• 04:37 Can't sleep. Figures, I am exhausted, and I am wide awake. I could cry. Dustin passed out when he hit the bed. ... bit.ly/4iCsNP #

[*** This is me figuring out what is going on inside my head while I am half asleep and wide awake while being tormented with the voices of my mental self. This is my attempt at making them go away so I can just sleep. If you choose to read this, read it all the way through, not just skim through it. This is a positive post on ADD, and negative against myself.]

I had an absolute blast at the REPO! [Amber Does Dallas] show, but can't help feeling a little hurt. I don't say this meaning I have a huge grudge against everyone involved. I just feel... underappreciated [ even though I did not do much of anything at all.]. GRANTED a lot of work went into the show after I left the scene, but I don't know... I just expected someone to say "hey thanks for getting the ball rolling", or "thanks for getting us together on this to start this project!" Maybe everyone was really busy with making their first show spectacular [which it was]. I don't know. I am still on the verge of tears that everyone "hates" me for leaving when life got a little crazy for me, like they all thought i left them high and dry. I don't know why I am asking so much of them after they have done so much and did such a great job. But it just hurt not to see any recognition. Even though I still feel like I don't really deserve the recognition. [vicious cycle huh?] Dustin just held me when we got home because he could see how sad I was, and he kept reassuring me they were grateful. I felt like such a horrible person. Maybe I am just overly emotional because I am tired. That has to be it. All I know is, I was not going to be able to sleep until after I got these thoughts out of my brain and out in some way. It just really bothers me that when I am really proud, and happy, somehow that voice in the back of my head keeps telling me the negative. "You did nothing, you were nothing but a handicap for them- it's better that you left, no one really likes you, why do you ever try- your just going to fail like you always do." Oddly enough this is the constant dialogue I have in my head at all times. Throughout my life. AHHH the life of a bohemian revolutionary. CONSTANT REGRET. Why Can't I just be proud and happy that my friends pulled together an awesome show, and did the film justice. I just want to feel joy for them. Then that voice starts yammering on and it takes everything in me not to fall into a puddle of tears and die. Maybe it is simply regret that I did not stay in even when things were tough, and actually used my friends as resources to help get me through emotionally. I am not sure. But that is the most likely target. [BTW, If you are reading this and you are a member of ADD, please remember this is not me bitching about you guys not showering me with attention - you guys deserve all the attention for such a WONDERFUL and AWESOME job. This is just me wallowing in my own head and trying to escape it. - So please don't start showering me with gratitude and hate comments. I don't really deserve the gratitude. You guys do.]

• 20:39 YEAY! Thanks to Becca I'm going to be able to go to Repo after all!!! bit.ly/4dymn0 #

• 17:43 It was wonderful to see faces of those you knew from a while ago, but Funerals are never a good reason to see... bit.ly/4ghLu1 #

• 11:02 Morning! I woke up long enough to turn off my alarm, then passed back out afterwards. thirty minutes into my class I... bit.ly/5zC5 #

• 17:44 Pay not attention to the man behind the curtain!!! bit.ly/1X64ut #

• 11:41 Dustin and I will be at Bethany's for some good food and Bobba Tea! If your in town, stop by and join us! bit.ly/1PPXtr #
• 12:02 Address of Bethany's: 705 W Park Row Dr, Arlington, TX bit.ly/aGFvu #

• 11:31 I'm excited. Halloween marks the begining of my favorite season. Holiday season! bit.ly/3vcISR #
• 18:58 new Derranged Comics is up along with Halo's Glitch comic! bit.ly/2P24Nx #
• 23:48 Gallery of my most recent Photography Work. bit.ly/4ryo1j #

• 00:09 Halloween costume complete, must finnish the finnishing touches on Dustins costume. God, I'm a nice little Sweatshop. bit.ly/3VexP #

• 22:46 Finally got around to watch "Whip It!" bit.ly/2zxckh #

• 13:18 Auditioning for a TV Pilot tonight. Don't expect much to come of it, except good experience. bit.ly/38PcdN #
• 21:39 Audition went SPECTACULAR!!! It was actually for THREE diff. things !! 1. Tv Pilot, 2. Film, and 3. a stageplay.... bit.ly/31BOlY #
• 22:45 Auditioning for Velvet Kittens Burlesque bit.ly/3wAoFL #

• 21:20 bad night last night. will explain later. bit.ly/1wVArm #

• 18:28 I'm at 78 fans? what? woo hoo!!!! bit.ly/4f4MgG #

• 16:11 Happy Birthday Mom!!!!!! ::muah:: bit.ly/17HKto #

• 23:46 Le sigh. bit.ly/xiSjp #

• 21:29 working on dustins halloween costume. This will be epic. first time doing the couple costume.... bit.ly/tHH3Y #
• 23:51 who wants to wager a guess who Dustin and I will be for halloween. It is good times. bit.ly/jKv9a #

• 21:36 vicious cycle. of what? I am still not quite sure. but whatever it is, i must be dead smack in the middle of it... bit.ly/ALj9O #

• 23:08 I am still alive, I promise! bit.ly/4qS5TE #

• 00:00 I have been sewing Like CRAZY this week, and practice really does make perfect. Going to sell the stuff once I get... bit.ly/JlkI6 #

• 12:36 Becca's on her way over. Going to take some nifty pics of her. #

• 21:49 woot. I have been eating very mittle meat again. Maybe I am getting back on the vegetarian wagon... #
• 21:52 heh. Mittle meat. I so crazay. #

• 19:28 The play I saw at TCC SOutheast today was called "Collected Stories". Very well performed and left a good impression on me. #
• 19:29 btw i feel much better about my body today. #
• 00:44 Just donated to Kera! [pbs] Feels a little good. #

• 15:18 You know the day is going to be bad when you wake up and put on your "fat" pants and you can't even fit into them. #
• 00:18 Going to check out the play at TCCSE tomorow at 2pm. #

• 00:23 Nevermind, we are going to the State fair next friday. #
• 15:18 You know the day is going to be bad when you wake up and put on your "fat" pants and you can't even fit into them. #
• 00:18 Going to check out the play at TCCSE tomorow at 2pm. #

• Saw Julie and Julia with the parents and Dustin.  Had a wonderful time about it too.  I tear-ed up twice in the film.  Once in the middle, and once at the end all because of butter.  YES  I said BUTTER.
• Not sure why bullet points are being put up on here, but then again, I am using windows live writer, so I’m not sure quite why it does this….
• Once again, I feel like I am in a protective cocoon right now.  Like I’m about to turn into a butterfly.  It really is an interesting feeling.  I am neither here, nor there.  AND I don’t care much one way or the other.
• I wonder if this is how the Buddha felt before he achieved enlightenment…
• I’m not sure how to help someone I care about.  They are getting in a tight pinch, and I can only offer an ear.  Sadly they aren’t comfortable with talking about their problems.  Oh well.  Things will work out the way they should.  That is my solace with that.
• I am taking things slowly.  I am not going to try to take over the world in a month… I will do it slowly.    Yes… I will stop trying to do everything.  Now that I have my focus, I will only work on that.  It is guaranteed for me to succeed when i focus all of my energy to what makes me happy more than anything. yes, slowly.  no need to rush.  Here’s hoping I can still pass for 21. [For my sake]

Ok, so not really much has happened, so I don’t know why I am even writing in here.  I guess so that I can say to you guys on livejournal that I am alive. 

I have been writing a lot of anything, and reading a lot more recently.  good thing.  I am weighing my options if my Financial Aid does not go through Tarrant Community College, and maybe heading over to an actors conservatory.

My sewing machine is dying.  It no longer regulates the sized of the stitch.  It varies 0 stitches per half inch to 4 without notice.  Also I can’t sew zippers on it anymore.  For some reason the setting that moves the needle from left to right and not down on the metal presser foot does not work either.  Also the faceplate keeps rattling even though it is on all the way.  It is a Kenmore that my Grandmother used to use, and when she died, gave it to me.  I wish it would be cost effective to simply fix it, but as it turns out it is less expensive to just buy a new one.  I searched and found a much more efficient one that has more settings for $150 dollars.  So I put it on my Christmas wish list.  Along with a new camcorder i can input the film on my computer.  The old Sony precision cam a] does not have a chord-or i cant find a chord that will hook up to my computer via usb or b] is in digital format.

Once I get a camcorder I can start filming stuff, and editing it myself… which means my friends and i would be doing a lot of acting work after that happens.  I can’t wait.  I need that more than anything.

If I am able to perform and edit film I will be a happy camper in my life.

I was also hungry this morning after waking up [no! is that possible?!?!?], so i got some frozen Mahi Mahi out of the fridge and put some leftover rice on some foil, then put some lime juice on the rice, then the fish on top of that, and then some packets of hot sauce from taco bell and taco casa. [Dustin took a big bag when he was there, and filled it with them, so that way I would have hot sauce to cook with without having to buy some]

So that’s cooking right now.

Not sure what else to update on.

Dustin and I are doing well.

I miss my Stephanie more than any human can possibly know.

She’s busy, I understand.

so everything but my lunch is up in the air right now.  I’m just waiting for it to come back down so I can work on stuff.

Later.

Okay, if your coming to the meeting, COOL.  AGAIN, here is the directions to the meeting.

http://www.mapquest.com/maps?city=Lake+Worth&state=TX&address=5920+Quebec+St

Bring something to write on and with.  This is not a social gathering [ okay, after all the business is done it is], I will not allow any shenanigans [heh] during the meeting, once we are done talking technical, then it is okay.  I am only wanting people who are serious about this.  A lot of major decisions will be covered.  I appreciate EACH and EVERY one of you.

Lets take DFW by storm!

5920 Quebec Street
FORT WORTH, TX 76135-3605
Phone: 817-237 2894
Fax: 817-237 2896

God Forbid [By Raechel A. Gasparac]



Voices are crying
politicians are lying
Oh what a trap this could be
a change made by little me
the people are trying
the people can see
the innocents dying in the streets.

God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid

We must take action!
Buy into this distraction!
Neda is Bloody and fallen!
The people have spoken when-
we watch these comming attractions
As the innocence of the world has been stolen
Truth is that violence never defeats.

God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid

One day these people
will should out in victory
your small little steeple
will crumble with each decree
Your buildings will topple
will know you are contradictory
to each and every god and nation
of what you claim to be
The truth is the truth
will set you free
and

God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid
God Forbid